This is one of the more misunderstood situations encountered. Unfortunately
many animals, after having had run of the household for years, often get the
boot after a new baby arrives. What can you do to help integration? Can you keep
the animal and child together without disaster? These are some of the topics
discussed in this article.
Many couples are now waiting to have children later in life. This trend has
been accompanied by animals being kept as surrogates in many households until
the child arrives. Many times the animal is tossed outside or kept isolated from
the new child and the goings on surrounding the arrival of the new family
member. This creates confusion, chaos and trauma for all involved.
Animals do have feelings and emotions. We cannot always understand or
communicate effectively across to different species but respect, compassion and
understanding are some important components to use in almost every situation.
There are many worries that come with having a new baby, and there are hormonal
changes, lifestyle changes, additional stress and many other types of problems
that come with the new bundle of joy.
Here is the list of considerations to start with. You can expand this list to
include as much as you want!:
START PLANNING EARLY
CONSISTENT RULES
TRAINING
PROFESSIONAL HELP
QUALITY TIME
CONCERNS
OPTIONS
GET THE FACTS
INTRODUCTION TIPS
START PLANNING EARLY
The first step to dealing with this situation is when you find a baby will
be entering into your lifestyle! This should happen just after you find out you
or your significant partner is pregnant! You will need to discuss the concerns,
do some research and develop some strategies to handle the integration
successfully.
Animals are like children in many ways. They are curious, playful, and often
more rambunctious and persistent over things than we are. These normal behaviors
can be a danger to any child. Most children under the age of 12 do not have the
skill or the patterns to successfully deal with an animal. You as a parent must
understand this and adjust accordingly.
CONSISTENT RULES
Reasonable expectations are what you need to look at first. What is the
household like now? Will the rules change completely? Since this will be
confusing for the animal and hard to deal with, are there areas that can remain
consistent and only minor adjustments that need to be made instead?
TRAINING
Is the animal under control? If you have a beast that dominates your
household or you, then you can expect more problems than not. Training for you
and the pet is advisable. You will need some special work geared for baby too.
There are some various questions to ask.
New baby households will have to consider some very different questions: Will
the dog be walked next to the stroller and need training to do this before the
baby comes home? Will the pets be banned from certain rooms prior to the baby
coming home? (If so, you will need to train this well in advance of arrival) How
can the pets be introduced while remaining under control? How can you reinforce
the baby as being positive instead of creating jealousy or a negative
association? Will their be problems if the baby and the pets decide to share
toys? Or won’t share toys?
In the early stages of pregnancy and planning, both parents should make the
time to go to animal school just as you will make the commitment to go to baby
school. Later the mother-to-be may not be able to be so physically active but
the skills acquired in class are critical to proper control and safety with a
new baby or child in the house.
PROFESSIONAL HELP
If the animal is aggressive over food or toys you MUST find a good animal
behaviorist to help you address this problem. Sometimes the animal might just be
overly hyperactive or out of control which are other matters you may want to
seek professional help with. It may be a good idea to plan to do so anyway.
QUALITY TIME
Make time for both your spouse, and for animals in the household once the
new child arrives. Things will be very hectic and stressful and YOU will need a
break. Grandmas and Grandpas, neighbors, and other family members might be
interested in assisting you with the baby or with walking the dog or playing
with the cat or other animals. Take advantage of any offers or hire a pet
professional like a dog walker, pet-sitter, or something similar to assist you.
CONCERNS
Some concern is necessary when adding a new baby to the household. Children
should NEVER be left unattended with an animal. Accidents such as suffocation,
injury by curiosity, or from playful invitations can happen. Babies do not have
the physical control to roll away from a cat that may lie on it or in front of
their face; A playful paw can create injury; And jealousy or predatory behavior
in an unruly animal or hybrid can even create worse problems.
OPTIONS
Baby gates, monitors and restraint are some strategies to use; Training
classes, professional help and reading are some others. It is strongly suggested
that the normal routine be kept with an animal. If they sleep in your room, keep
them there instead of throwing them outside to another lifestyle and isolation
or abandonment.
GET THE FACTS
Properly assess your concerns and talk them over with someone who really
knows. Wives-tales concerning women not cleaning cat boxes while pregnant and
disease transmission from animals are misunderstandings. Yes, toxoplasmosis is a
concern from litterboxes and you should be careful but most women contract it
from gardening!! Most household animals are in good health and not as great a
risk to the baby as other humans or children are for the transmission of disease
or germs!!
INTRODUCTION TIPS
When introducing the baby, there are a few tips to consider. First, while
the mother is away at the hospital, bring home a blanket or wrap that has the
baby’s scent on it to let the household pets smell. When it is time for baby to
come home, make sure the animals have been active and are worn out before you
come back with the baby. For instance, take the time to run the dog in the park
or play with the cat until they tire and lose some of their excess energy.
When arriving, first come in and greet the animals and get them under
control. Use behavior strategies or mild restraint and then switch with mom and
let her do the same thing while you watch the baby. This is especially important
since the animals have not seen her for a few days! After you have both greeted
the animals, one person will bring in the baby while the other one keeps the
animals calm and under control.
Have mom and baby seated and let the pets investigate. Keep things calm and
allow a brief encounter, then get on with normal activities as soon as the pets
are done sniffing and greeting. Using the leash as slight restraint so the dog
can’t jump may be a good idea. They will want to sniff and look and will be
excited about the new addition to the family.
Yes, integration of a new baby to the household can be successful if planned.
Use your judgment or get guidance from a professional. With careful planning,
monitoring, and by keeping your normal activities and lifestyle, this gradual
introduction will help create a stable environment for all of you to get along
despite the chaos of having the new addition to the family!